There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i would one night stand the shit outta him
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
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