why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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