How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
