when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
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