So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
i out mim tonsoeep
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