Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
just tell him i said nine months
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
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