Can i not drive my cunt home
If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
Just puked most of my soul out..
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
