His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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