she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
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Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
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You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
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