My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
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