Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
Randomize
