Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
Randomize
