just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
