Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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