i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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