That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
Randomize
