yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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