I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
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