When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
Damn victory sex feels great
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize
