Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
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