Texts From Last Night

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  (907): View more from Alaska

  so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?

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  (907): so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go? http://tfl.nu/synh
  Replies (12) Good night (650) Bad night (2316)
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  (813): View more from Florida

  This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.

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  (813): This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along. http://tfl.nu/9dyn
  Replies (22) Good night (4573) Bad night (591)
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  (925): View more from California

  tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.

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  (925): tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too. http://tfl.nu/05va
  Replies (12) Good night (2154) Bad night (709)
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  (410): View more from Maryland

  Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'

  (301): View more from Maryland

  Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..

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  (410): Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles' (301): Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar.. http://tfl.nu/a4j3
  Replies (42) Good night (1053) Bad night (5333)
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  (707): View more from California

  there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?

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  (707): there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy? http://tfl.nu/j2tm
  Replies (28) Good night (3065) Bad night (687)
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  (518): View more from New York

  you're out of your mind

  (518): View more from New York

  you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear

  (518): View more from New York

  it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence

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  (518): you're out of your mind (518): you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear (518): it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence http://tfl.nu/wmaw
  Replies (11) Good night (758) Bad night (2152)
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  (715): View more from Wisconsin

  and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing

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  (715): and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing http://tfl.nu/e1xa
  Replies (11) Good night (3688) Bad night (1284)
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  (513): View more from Ohio

  Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?

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  (513): Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth? http://tfl.nu/ukqr
  Replies (22) Good night (5139) Bad night (1259)
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  (928): View more from Arizona

  I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.

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  (928): I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos. http://tfl.nu/xt2r
  Replies (23) Good night (4252) Bad night (798)
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  (201): View more from New Jersey

  he confused my yawn for an orgasm

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  (201): he confused my yawn for an orgasm http://tfl.nu/lvnz
  Replies (14) Good night (1021) Bad night (6499)
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  (217): View more from Illinois

  Did everyone make it back alive?

  (309): View more from Illinois

  You say that with such hope.

  (217): View more from Illinois

  Is that a no?

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  (217): Did everyone make it back alive? (309): You say that with such hope. (217): Is that a no? http://tfl.nu/rkmk
  Replies (3) Good night (3207) Bad night (864)
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  (956): View more from Texas

  Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....

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  (956): Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both..... http://tfl.nu/0n6l
  Replies (4) Good night (2057) Bad night (717)
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  (908): View more from New Jersey

  She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.

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  (908): She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible. http://tfl.nu/itsw
  Replies (7) Good night (556) Bad night (976)
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  (407): View more from Florida

  When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.

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  (407): When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud. http://tfl.nu/kqei
  Replies (5) Good night (966) Bad night (169)
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  (214): View more from Texas

  This is my gift to your gina

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  (214): This is my gift to your gina http://tfl.nu/cr2i
  Replies (8) Good night (407) Bad night (227)

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