Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid