Texts From Last Night

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  (214): View more from Texas

  She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.

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  (214): She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats. http://tfl.nu/sl2y
  Replies (15) Good night (743) Bad night (4083)
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  (818): View more from California

  Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.

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  (818): Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire. http://tfl.nu/r0t1
  Replies (39) Good night (933) Bad night (3147)
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  (480): View more from Arizona

  You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.

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  (480): You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker. http://tfl.nu/8odk
  Replies (15) Good night (598) Bad night (3771)
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  (817): View more from Texas

  getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.

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  (817): getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned. http://tfl.nu/n40z
  Replies (57) Good night (7425) Bad night (1748)
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  (408): View more from California

  New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.

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  (408): New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority. http://tfl.nu/3oej
  Replies (18) Good night (5194) Bad night (1373)
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  (810): View more from Michigan

  Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs

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  (810): Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs http://tfl.nu/dxeo
  Replies (13) Good night (8854) Bad night (1451)
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  (205): View more from Alabama

  I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.

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  (205): I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom. http://tfl.nu/673j
  Replies (9) Good night (856) Bad night (4564)
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  (205): View more from Alabama

  I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.

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  (205): I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that. http://tfl.nu/zu4z
  Replies (9) Good night (1155) Bad night (2443)
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  (304): View more from West Virginia

  1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?

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  (304): 1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex? http://tfl.nu/mw5g
  Replies (7) Good night (2971) Bad night (962)
• Favorite

  (713): View more from Texas

  I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.

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  (713): I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well. http://tfl.nu/o2ii
  Replies (4) Good night (1593) Bad night (561)
• Favorite

  (907): View more from Alaska

  I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....

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  (907): I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on.... http://tfl.nu/kmcf
  Replies (10) Good night (1389) Bad night (918)
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  (605): View more from South Dakota

  I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.

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  (605): I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming. http://tfl.nu/djrq
  Replies (15) Good night (1399) Bad night (3377)
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  (850): View more from Florida

  Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips

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  (850): Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips http://tfl.nu/pmcc
  Replies (1) Good night (539) Bad night (910)
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  (651): View more from Minnesota

  I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.

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  (651): I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like. http://tfl.nu/5ic3
  Replies (2) Good night (604) Bad night (908)
• Favorite

  (519): View more from Ontario

  I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen

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  (519): I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen http://tfl.nu/o99g
  Replies (2) Good night (555) Bad night (907)

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