on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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