i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome