Texts From Last Night

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  (212): View more from New York

  you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me

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  (212): you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me http://tfl.nu/k59c
  Replies (3) Good night (1146) Bad night (1776)
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  (631): View more from New York

  woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.

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  (631): woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again. http://tfl.nu/84mk
  Replies (23) Good night (1242) Bad night (4000)
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  (580): View more from Oklahoma

  I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.

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  (580): I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch. http://tfl.nu/axjt
  Replies (31) Good night (6246) Bad night (1098)
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  (408): View more from California

  I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.

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  (408): I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing. http://tfl.nu/86sf
  Replies (19) Good night (1530) Bad night (5774)
• Favorite

  (810): View more from Michigan

  I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.

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  (810): I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm. http://tfl.nu/2iai
  Replies (9) Good night (1329) Bad night (4024)
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  (614): View more from Ohio

  Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.

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  (614): Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning. http://tfl.nu/meuz
  Replies (11) Good night (2258) Bad night (1144)
• Favorite

  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.

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  (570): i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition. http://tfl.nu/mkq9
  Replies (16) Good night (5595) Bad night (973)
• Favorite

  (785): View more from Kansas

  totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted

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  (785): totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted http://tfl.nu/rzdq
  Replies (2) Good night (3433) Bad night (817)
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  (580): View more from Oklahoma

  The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.

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  (580): The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference. http://tfl.nu/nnsg
  Replies (9) Good night (675) Bad night (1965)
• Favorite

  (651): View more from Minnesota

  I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.

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  (651): I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do. http://tfl.nu/obfe
  Replies (1) Good night (658) Bad night (367)
• Favorite

  (480): View more from Arizona

  I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.

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  (480): I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it. http://tfl.nu/0k0k
  Replies (8) Good night (1113) Bad night (431)
• Favorite

  (360): View more from Washington

  Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.

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  (360): Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits. http://tfl.nu/3dqo
  Replies (5) Good night (1583) Bad night (383)
• Favorite

  (812): View more from Indiana

  I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.

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  (812): I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature. http://tfl.nu/jyq9
  Replies (0) Good night (704) Bad night (346)
• Favorite

  (252): View more from North Carolina

  I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight

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  (252): I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight http://tfl.nu/i3ic
  Replies (0) Good night (232) Bad night (477)
• Favorite

  (302): View more from Delaware

  Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex

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  (302): Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex http://tfl.nu/650g
  Replies (0) Good night (360) Bad night (206)

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