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I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
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