How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
She bit a glass in half.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
