If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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