windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
Randomize
