Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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