Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Randomize
