was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
How drunk are you?
Completed.
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