I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
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