how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
Acid is not a monday night drug
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
