tell your sister to shave her snatch
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Randomize
