It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
