idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Randomize
