omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
We need a shit load of segways right now
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
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