How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
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