I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
Randomize
