I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
You're my little dorito
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
We have started to decorate penises.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
Randomize
