This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
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