gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
Randomize
