he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Randomize
