Too much gin, very little bucket
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
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