I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
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