he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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