How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
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