we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
