It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
