No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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