why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
