i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
