I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
50% drunk capacity currently
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
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