where am i from again
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
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