i'm lost and i look like a hooker
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
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