just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
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