ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
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