everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
Farmville is her only friend.
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
Randomize
