evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
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