genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
You need Xanax blowdarts
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
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