You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
someone owes me an orgasm
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
