these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
Randomize
