dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
