god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize