So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
