I'm sorry my penis didn't work
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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