yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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