please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
Randomize
