I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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