Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
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well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
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Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
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