He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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